I hate this weekend. I love this weekend. I am torn between all that was amazing this weekend and what it preceded. I am in complete and utter shock at the loss I've had, and overjoyed at the time I had with friends. I guess they balance eachother. Perhaps thats while I don't feel anything at all, no pain, no joy, just the piano keys beneath my fingers and the weight of my shirt on my shoulders; it feels liks the world.
I need to sleep now. Good night,
Jonathan
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Reconciliation
At first... I thought I may have deserved it.
For the walk out I saw it coming, with each step leading to an imminent yet temporary doom. We walk on... away from the crowd... Accused... accused of... there should be a statute of limitations on things such as this... we arrive... You cannot accuse someone and threaten them based on a flaw in their personailty that no longer exists... I am pushed against the rear of a car... you cannot punish someone for a problem already roconciled.
"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"
Tonight another incompetent approached me and offered me violence in exchange for becoming who I already am. Go ahead, beat my ass... fuck me up... "destroy" me... And his justification was that he was to punish me for something.... As If I hadn't punished myself enough over the last few years to "fix" myself and my flaws. He intended... in a sense... to execute a man who was once a part of me, a man who was already dead, slain by my thoughts and actions over the past year.
What little respect I had for him is lost. If he had followed through in fighting me, with or without the support of his group he'd brought, I doubt I would have fought back. It was trivial to me, even afterwards... Just another part of my day that could have gone better or could have gone worse. There is no point in dwelling on a problem that exists only in the mind of an incompetent.
Night,
Jon
For the walk out I saw it coming, with each step leading to an imminent yet temporary doom. We walk on... away from the crowd... Accused... accused of... there should be a statute of limitations on things such as this... we arrive... You cannot accuse someone and threaten them based on a flaw in their personailty that no longer exists... I am pushed against the rear of a car... you cannot punish someone for a problem already roconciled.
"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"
Tonight another incompetent approached me and offered me violence in exchange for becoming who I already am. Go ahead, beat my ass... fuck me up... "destroy" me... And his justification was that he was to punish me for something.... As If I hadn't punished myself enough over the last few years to "fix" myself and my flaws. He intended... in a sense... to execute a man who was once a part of me, a man who was already dead, slain by my thoughts and actions over the past year.
What little respect I had for him is lost. If he had followed through in fighting me, with or without the support of his group he'd brought, I doubt I would have fought back. It was trivial to me, even afterwards... Just another part of my day that could have gone better or could have gone worse. There is no point in dwelling on a problem that exists only in the mind of an incompetent.
Night,
Jon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)